Just a 2 letter word...

This past month or so has been the most intense learning experience for me. It’s wonderful feeling good just by noticing men being interested in you. It’s funny how that “flirty” part of me had shut down and the negative energy pushed men away. My recent focus has been on my own life and how to express myself in a way that a man can not only hear – but that will reach out to him. Real men do not like the spotlight in a relationship. “Little Boy” men do. “Little Boys” like their feelings considered first and always. They want to know what YOU can do for THEM, and have no interest in doing for you any more than they have to to keep you around. A real man doesn't want to be coddled. A real man wants to be a Prince or a King to your Princess. He doesn't want to be the frog you have to kiss to life - he wants to put the crown on YOUR head! So next time you're tempted to get "sucked in" by all a man's stories around why he "can't commit" or "be in a relationship” or “moving to Central America”, don't believe him.He may or may not be lying on purpose, but he's for sure lying to himself. So the point is to remember that all it takes is to realize that you have choices and options, and that men everywhere want you. Even if you've never believed it before, believe and act like you are very expensive, highly prized, and possessed of inner strength and outer softness. A good, real man will recognize that right off and fight for you. It's true! So, about the title, can we say DR as in doctor? Yep, that’s right. I have had a lot of friends trying to set me up with people. But I needed to take time out for myself and see the real me. I needed to be happy with and within myself. And guess what.... ta da... I lost 16 lbs and feel great. Even my best friend told me today that it was noticeable. So, yes, I have a date with a doctor. It’s not the title or degree he has, its the intelligence that enabled him to go that far. I look forward to long interesting conversations. So, how about them jeans? Think the sisterhood might have done me good. I will let you know if he turns out to be a frog or the prince.

Am I a "classy" woman?

I keep hearing over and over from guys in different situations that men are looking to date and have relationships with "classy" women. I keep wondering to myself, what does it mean to be classy? So, I began searching the internet for the answer to my question. After reading many websites define a "classy" woman - I found one flaw... a woman can have all the qualities that make her classy according to these websites but it doesn't mean she has "class". I firmly believe that it is not in the "what" you are but the "how" you are. I believe it's how you act, how you carry yourself, how you express yourself and how you live your life that makes you "classy". So, this is my definition and how I hope to define myself.
1. Knowledge, Wit, Sense of Humor: can't have class if the person behind it has no interesting thoughts, opinions, views or observations. You have to have the ability to share and challenge ideas.
2. Style: gotta have a sense of fashion. While it's fun having an ecletic style, gotta save that for the weekend.
3. Femininity: ALL classy women are in touch with their feminine nature. My mission in life is not to challenge men and compete with them, I enjoy pleasing men and being proud to be a woman.
4. Elegance: elegance is hard to describe. It's the way a woman carries her self in just about every situation. It's her voice, movement, body language, ways she stands, sits and responds to those around her. While some parts of this are part of our nature, the rest are acquired through habit, friends and observation.
5. Success: if you are classy and successful - you don't need to run around and tell everyone how smart or successful you are! Actions speak louder than words.
6. Pride: learn to get "angry" the right way. Learn when to simply walk away from a bad situation.
So, after researching, I have decided it clearly requires work in these areas of one's personality toward being a "classy" woman. Personally, I don't think I am doing too bad. Ok, so I didn't score 100, but I didn't fail either. Let me know what your thoughts are on this subject.

Pond or Puddle?

My lovely daughter once told me... mom, you're getting older. When it comes to dating it's not like you have a pond to fish from... now you only have a puddle. Thanks baby, love you too! It is every woman's dream to meet a "good guy". One that will sweep her off her feet and transform into her knight in shining armor. I have been talking with lots of friends recently and it is really interesting to listen to their ideas of what a "good guy" truly is. Let's look at some of their thoughts... 1. A good guy will never cheat on you no matter what. Personally, I think all men have the potential to cross that infidelity line. 2. Good guys never get angry or upset. Ok, so you are telling me good guys aren't human? 3. All the good guys are taken. Nope, couldn't be farther from the truth. Sometimes, you have to redefine what a good guy really is and you will start seeing guys coming out of the woodwork. A good guy is a nice man that can relate to you on many levels. Someone you are compatible with. 4. Good guys always fall in love. No, if he is in a "relationship" only mode, he will only indulge you. 5. A good guy will never leave you. Wrong, again. 6. Good guys are romantic and affectionate. Not always. While he may be generous and give you the shirt off his back, he may not know how to unleash the passionate love in his heart. So, after listening to my friends, I wondered should I still hold out hope that I will find my own "good guy", who will be the kind of man I have always dreamed of? Of course I should! So who cares if my pond has gotten smaller with age and now I am only left with a puddle... I plan to have the time of my life "puddle" jumping. Like I have heard... when it rains it pours. Have fun!

Step on the brakes...

Have you ever pretended to the man that was your fiance, lover, boyfriend... that you're okay with now just being his friend? I keep lying, pretending, making it look like it really doesn't bother me and that I truly hope he finds happiness. Well folks, I can't do this anymore. I actually feel like I am bursting from the inside with the desire to tell him exactly how I feel and why, however I must express this in a very mature adult way. Ok, well not too mature and adult, gotta have some fun! We have all been in one "those" relationships at some point in our lives. Whether it was with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife... we all fell completely head over heels for them instantaneously. Let's say, such as in my life, it was a boyfriend. He was cute. He was fun. He was intelligent. He said and did all the right things. But, your friends told you that he was trouble. His parent even told you to think twice. But you just didn't listen, did you! You like him too much. You had already gone too far in your emotions to turn back. You had exchanged "I love you's". You clicked from the very beginning. You made a great team. But one day, out of the blue, something just seemed different. Soon, he became distant. He avoided you. He didn't want to discuss his feelings and seemed quite comfortable keeping you at a distance but keeping you hanging on at the same time. You wondered what happened to your love and you felt lost. Well, I actually was in one of those relationships until a month ago. Once our relationship began to fizzle, there was nothing I could do to stop it. Okay, so maybe our breakup didn't make me lose sleep, but it was still dang frustrating! Love is a huge emotion that can radically and completely dictate someone's life. If it were possible to perform a few magical steps in order to make someone fall in love with you, we would live in a world of nothing but broken hearts. Then again, don't we already? There is no formula for generating the authentic warmth of love. It is a recipe that cannot be copied. Everyone has the capacity to love. So where do I stand now... remember when I said we focus all our energy on NOT LOSING HIM? Well, step on the brakes and refuse to lose any more. It isn't weak because we decide to give up, most often "giving up" is the absolutely best thing we can do. The best thing for ourselves - our self respect, our self esteem, confidence and power... and the best thing for a potential relationship. So don't wait for your guy to grow up, I'm not. I found the absolute best thing I can do for myself is to take him at his word. Friends it is, buddy! Wave goodbye, and get yourself back out on the market. Now that is scary... Pond or Puddle? Keep reading friends... love you!

So... I'm not a fashionista when it comes to picking jeans

I love shopping, however, sometimes I tend to buy what is on sale and not what I actually need. Thinking back, perhaps my "newest" pair of jeans were marked down for a reason. It's funny how we only see what we want... I could stand in front of the mirror for hours and I thought I looked great; the jeans were flattering, new and made me feel adventureous. It took me 5 years to realize how deceptive the jeans & the mirror was. They showed me only what "I" wanted to see. We have all had moments when we knew it was over, but didn't know quite what to do about it. It is very stressful, and we tend to ask our family and friends for relationship advice. Sometimes it can be really hard to know when it's time to let go. People can tell you all they want - that you need to get out and move on. Some see everything as black and white, a simple solution. Things would be so much less complicating if we could turn our emotions "on" and "off" that easily. I, personally, have never been able to do that with anything much less relationships. I analyse everything, over-think. Although I still would say I am guilty of over-thinking on a regular basis, life has taught me many lessons. It took me years to realize that even though my family and friends can advise me until they're blue in the face, I must make my own decisions and decide what path is best for me. So back to the jeans, they had to go! I keep thinking... maybe I need to revamp my wardrobe... no more jeans for my future... maybe find a different style?